The Battle Continues - I Will Not Quit

"Effort only releases its reward after a person refuses to quit."

-Napoleon Hill

It is with some sadness I write today that I've learned my battle with cancer is not over, and that additional treatment awaits me in my near future. Disease has been discovered in my lungs - presumably, these cells have been resistant to all the treatment I've had thus far, hid out for a while, and are beginning to grow back again. We first learned about this last week but it was officially confirmed this morning.

This is my first attempt to write about a current challenge on this blog and so I'm not sure if everything will come together very well, but I will do my best.

Now I can spend a lot of time writing about the details of what has happened, why this has come back, why it won't go away and what the treatment options are, but instead, I want to focus on just one thing: Letting everyone know that I am not going to quit. I will push through this latest obstacle, get it behind me and get myself back on track. My goal has always been to wipe this disease out of my system, I don't intend to change that goal.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the disease coming back now, after all the punishing treatment I've endured to kill it, is not a good sign. But even still, I refuse to give up.

I don't think I will ever understand why my family and I are being tested like this, but I do know that if I stop trying to win this battle, I will never be satisfied with myself. I think that no matter what happens, I am going to keep working hard and doing my best to find a way out of this. And I'm sure that if I keep up this attitude, doors will open as they always have.

I took the news about this latest setback surprisingly well. I'm not sure exactly why that is, but I haven't shed a tear yet, even though I know this is terrible news. I think it's because I know deep down that I am fighting as hard as I can and I am giving my full effort. I truly and honestly believe that I am doing all I can, so how can I be upset with myself? Clearly this is out of my control, and worrying about things beyond my control is pointless.

So how am I keeping my mind clear and dealing with stress? Primarily I am trying to stay very proactive about searching for a solution. I refuse to believe that there is no solution for this problem on Earth, and since it's here, I'm going to find it. Even if it's not here, I'm going up in a space ship to find it. These last few days I've been extremely busy calling various doctors around the US to get opinions and suggestions on how I should proceed. This has served as a good mental distraction for me.

I'm pretty sure I rambled quite a bit in this post, but the bottom line here is that I refuse to quit. No matter what happens, if I have the strength in me, I will continue to fight this disease. I plan to post regularly now about the current situation and provide updates as they come along. Please pray for my family as we tackle this latest obstacle.

Fight on...