Patient perseverance

The hardest part of facing difficult circumstances in life is not knowing the outcome of those circumstances, particularly when it's a matter of life and death. In my case, dealing with the side effects of the treatments I have been through and facing the constant ups and downs of this battle would have been much less difficult if I knew everything was going to be ok. But, that's not how things work in this world, and I don't know the outcome. So how do you deal with this stomach-churning, stressful uncertainty? I guess the only way is patient perseverance.

Over the next few days I will be getting tests done to figure out exactly where the cancer is, if it has spread within the liver or from the liver back to other parts of my body, and how quickly I need to act. Then next week I plan on meeting with a doctor to discuss treatment options, however wild and crazy they may be.

Aside from continuing to be proactive to find solutions on my own, there's really nothing else for me to do this week except wait. There hasn't been much for to do in the past few years except wait. That's not to say I haven't done anything with my life, but there's only so much you can do when a doctor's appt, ct scan, blood test, surgery or chemo is waiting around the corner.

So how do I plan on waiting it out this week without letting myself get too worked up? I'll just do what I've been doing for some time now, pray and try and keep my mind still and peaceful. I'll probably throw in some deep breathing as well.

There's a big difference between patient perseverance and stressful perseverance (I'm not sure if that's a real thing, but I'm saying it is). On the surface the person may not appear frazzled or scared, but he could be bouncing off the walls in his mind with fear. Patiently persevering helps to keep the body calm, which is really important.

Obviously, there's no easy way to handle a week like this, but I hope, through my prayers, I can continue to get through it.