Present Day Update

I've been working on crafting my next blog entry, but its taking me much longer than expected. So, rather than not post anything up till the middle of next week, I thought I would fill the gap with an update on how I'm doing today. Most of you who follow this blog closely I probably talk to or see quite often, but for those of you who I don't talk to, this entry should give you a glimpse of where I am at right now in the recovery process. I'm not going to go into too much detail, so if you really want all the dirt, you'll have to call me up.

Each week I feel as though I am continuing to gain my physical strength and energy back. My overall energy level and mental clarity was low after the brain surgery (Dec. 31st, 2008), but those issues have since improved, and continue to improve each day. I am now working out of my office 3 days per week, and working from home 2 days per week. I started this routine 3 weeks ago and I hope to continue it, and then eventually when I feel ready, I will gradually begin to increase time spent in the office as well as overall hours worked. My goal is of course to get back to my original performance level prior to all this.

My free time is spent doing light exercise, reading, playing chess, keeping up with my favorite tv shows, watching Lakers basketball, meeting friends in the area and writing this blog. I haven't gotten back into the gym as of yet, but it's on the short list, along with visiting friends in Chicago and on the East Coast. I try not to think about the future too much, but I do occasionally spend time making tentative plans and generating ideas for what I want to do over the next few years. I have several ideas, most of which involve taking this opportunity to expand my knowledge and diversify my skill set before progressing further in my career.

I'm also slowly trying to rebuild my social life. Since the day I got sick, I withdrew myself from the world in many ways, avoiding social situations where I would feel awkward meeting new people and making new friends because of my appearance and physical limitations. I preferred a comfort zone of people who knew what was happening and who I could be myself around. Breaking out of this zone has been extremely tough for me because my confidence has eroded away while sitting at home or spending time in hospitals. But, as with everything else, I am working my way back.

My regular checkups continue as well. Depending on the test (blood test or imaging test), some are performed monthly and some are a bit more spread out. Because these tests happen so often, this battle is still a mental roller-coaster, as the days leading up to each exam bring higher levels of stress and anxiety. But I am taking action to help deal with these emotions and prevent them from coming at such extremes. Things like deep breathing/meditation exercises have helped me stay focused and relaxed around test time.

My family continues to press on as we try and distance ourselves from this disease. We've made an effort to bring more inspirational forces and humor into our house to accelerate the healing process. I continue to appreciate the support I have here - I know that in many ways, I am extremely blessed.